25th February, 2012 - Posted by admin - No Comments
Extracting yourself from your child’s bed should be an olympic sport – requiring as it does, a range of skills from balance, dexterity, stealth, and speed to intuition and instinct.
You rely on your wit and experience to know when to leave the bed – the child must be deeply enough asleep but not sleeping for so long that you have fallen asleep yourself (or lost sensation in a limb).
Failure results in that heart-sinking cry of “Mummy!/Daddy!” and you start again….
There are the mavericks who try and spring from the bed as if weightless – a risky manoeuvre – and those who slip from the side, risking putting their backs out as they realise their top half is very much tucked under their child but their legs are now off the bed entirely.
Then leaving the room – which experts say requires a perfectly flatfooted approach so as to stop floorboards creaking. You have to plan each footstep, using your senses in the darkened room to navigate between the loud floorboards and pointy-cornered drawers.
Then there is the door…. Do you go gradually, or pull it quickly? Know your door, folks. Does it creak or squeak? Does it, heaven forbid, stick?
Oh the perils of this game are many, and the rewards few,